We come from a society that places a strong value on independence, doing things on your own, the “lone wolf” mentality. Asking for help is a sign of weakness, failure and may even be seen as cheating! This mentality is supported on a micro-scale with family and friends as we feel pushed at a young age to get out in the world and stand on our own two feet and make our mark. The lone wolf is also reinforced on a macro scale by society at large, by media, movies and many of the figures and institutions we look up to!
In my personal journey, I did not get this concept of reaching out for support until I was in my late 40’s, I had felt enough pain in relationship and family challenges that I finely became open to some outside help. This took the form of therapy and personal development courses and later on a network of great friends and family. I would LOVE to say it was smooth sailing, but it was a difficult path for me, I fought it for sure. I went through multiple therapists (6 to be exact) as I just could not find “the right fit”, and I started some personal development courses but when asked to take the NEXT level, I always had time money and integration excuses to stop me from growing. It took me about 3 years of fighting the process and myself before I finally understood there was more for me on the other side of this self-conflict! I became open to new information, more gentle and accepting of myself and others, and gained a deeper understanding of the old programs (Lone wolf for example) that were running all aspects of my life! Once I released some of these old ways of thinking my ability to reach out for support became significantly easier. Each time I reach out for support is an opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of my world and grow.
“Great things in business are never done by one person. They’re done by a TEAM OF PEOPLE.” – Steve Jobs
Many (if not all) successful people did not get there alone, they became successful because they not only spent time mastering their own internal resources, they also saw the value of reaching out and leveraging the right supports, for personal and professional wellbeing and growth! No one is great at everything, this idea that we are, is a recipe for failure in business and in life. Strong people are not the ones that go it alone at any cost; truly strong people are the ones not afraid to reach out for support when needed!
Leveraging supports in your life is not only smart but it's also a way to make your dreams plus other people’s dreams come true! By focusing on what we are great at, reaching out for support on some of the things we are not so amazing at, we move faster at achieving our personal goals, we help others achieve theirs! It is truly a win-win!
Next time you feel stuck in the mud, challenged and not knowing which way to turn, ask yourself; who can I reach out for the right support? Pluck up your courage; realize you may not have all the answers and take the plunge! Great things wait for you on the other side!
“Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.” – Les Brown
David Fyfe