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The Trap of Goals That Conflict!

Even with the best intentions goal setting can be tricky, there are often so many different priorities we want from our lives; from launching a successful business venture, rocking great health, having financial security, cultivating deep connected relationships, being an amazing parent, just to name a few. Individually all these goals can all be amazing to achieve, but if not looked at collectively they can potentially work against each other cause unforeseen barriers to success in life!

I know I have observed in others and myself when there are BIG focuses in one area of life, other areas will often suffer!

  • Go into a new relationship and lose some friends (need to focus on the relationship….my “good” friends will understand and hang around).

  • Enter into a new “important” job and have health decline (there will be time later for the gym and eating right….after this project or maybe the next one).

  • Start your own dream business (there is almost nothing we would not sacrifice to see this baby succeed?!).

All of our goals become incredibly focused around the important task in front of us as it feels almost life and death important at times. We convince ourselves that if we achieve this BIG LIFE GOAL all the other “stuff” will just line up and solve itself!

Does this sound familiar? I know it does for me!

I realized that I was taking from one important area of my life to feed another, writing cheques I could not consistently cash in the long term, this was clearly not sustainable. I desperately needed a new and much more conscious strategy for goal setting! It always felt like the classic “one step forward and two steps back” Every success cost me two failures!

So from this place of frustration a few years ago I decided on a holistic goal-setting perspective, breaking my life goals into 6 major categories:

  1. Health

  2. Financial

  3. Business/Career

  4. Significant relationship

  5. Friends

  6. Family

I did my best to give each category EQUAL attention and set goals for all. In doing so I not only had more balance, I gained a much clearer understanding of the relationships between these important areas of my life.

How great health ripples through all areas of my life. If I let my finances slide I will worry and be distracted. Connecting frequently with like-minded friends would improve my mood and I will gain valuable insights. Being 100% present in all my important relationships is an incredible source of joy, comfort, and peace! Focusing on what JUICES ME UP in business allows me to do more of the stuff that EXCITES ME and less of the rest

I am happy to say, IT'S WORKING! This balanced approached to goal setting taught me three main things:

  1. Be honest with myself on where I am today in all the “important” areas of my life and set goals from this place of honesty.

  2. Understand there is a synergetic relationship between my goals and when in balance, instead of fighting each other; they can work together to achieve AMAZING results.

  3. I get to bring my important people on the ride with me!!  HOW EXCITING IS THAT!?

I am a big believer in setting goals towards achieving your hope and dreams, I invite you to look at them from this holistic perspective and experience the magic of GOAL SYNERGY! Not the TRAP of goals that conflict!

David Fyfe


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